CaptivatingCuriosity

I Believe

I believe in being transparent. I believe in being the only thing I can be - me. I believe in knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and their pursuit. I believe in sharing these quests with others and do so very openly and honestly. Through my love for transparency, my quest for wisdom, and my desire to understand God, His Son, His Spirit, and the world around me, I hope to open my thoughts to others so that they may be challenged to grow too. I will always be Captivating Curiosity.

Friendship, Time, & Feathers

Friday, August 13, 2010

As I sit here thinking about what my next blog post, which has been over a year, I admit, I stare at a feather. Yes, a feather. It's balancing itself on top of my big left toe. Not sure where it came from, probably my down comforter, but this feather is not going anywhere - it just won't go away. No matter how much I shake my foot and wiggle my toes, the feather stays put.

This reminds me of my friendships.

Today I was texting a good friend of mine, trying to figure out a time for us to get together. As we struggled to find time to hang out, it dawned on me how much life changes as we age. People get married, have kids, are busy with careers, and time becomes limited.

My friendships are like this feather. They aren't going anywhere. No matter what happens in life, no matter what directions people take, no matter where we go, my friends aren't going anywhere.

It may be weeks before we talk, it may be months before we hug, but the bond that we have will never leave. The bond is eternal and for that I am grateful. For days like today, when I am feeling sad because I haven't spent time with anyone but clients and coworkers, I am reminded that there are women out there that love me, that I have memories with, and i know that they will always be a part of me.

posted by tobepink @ 10:55 PM 1 comments

My Memory Has Returned...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

YEA!!!! I'm FINALLY able to get back on my blog. I know, you missed me, right? Uh-huh. Well, that's what happens when you forget the password AND the account username.

It was like one of those moments when something is on the tip of your tongue, and you sit and rack your brain over it and then you stop thinking about it and soon as it's left your mind, *ZAP* it pops back into your mind and rolls right off your tongue. Yes, it was that simple. Of course it took months!! But I must thank you, my subconscious, for storing that which I may need again.

Well, I must get to work. But, stay tuned for more ramblings from my Captivating Curiosity. You won't be disappointed.

Thought for the day: When you feel like you're about to go to pieces, pour glue all over yourself.

posted by tobepink @ 4:53 PM 0 comments

I Can Do Nothing Without Him

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Lord is seeking to bring us to the end of our abilities so we can tap into His ability.-Bobby Connor

These words hit me hard. How are they ever so true!!! John 15:5 says, "...without Me you can do nothing." Sure, I can do whatever I want. But does that mean it is what I am supposed to be doing? Or is it even what my Creator wants me to do?

I've come to an understanding that has helped me surrender to God.

If God is my creator, then most surely he knows what is best for me AND what I was made for!! Who am I to determine what that purpose is? I am not my creator. Only my creator can give me purpose.
Sure, I can try to figure it out on my own and give myself my own purpose but what if i am wrong? What if I chose a purpose for me that is not what I would be best at? What if I give myself a purpose that is less than what I am made for? Most surely then I have failed. I don't want to fail. After all, this is the only life I have. The only chance I have to live the purpose I was created for.

That's it. I can't figure it out without Him. Nor can I DO it without Him.

Dear Lord,
I need you. I can do nothing worthwhile, I can not be who I was created to be without You. Take me and mold me. Make me into who you created to me to be. I surrender. Amen.

posted by tobepink @ 10:36 AM 0 comments

Pastoral Response to the 2008 Election

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dutch Sheets, a favored Author and Pastor, wrote an amazing article regarding the elections. Here it is:

November 6, 2008

I feel certain that many in my stream of the Church want a statement from me concerning Tuesday's presidential election. I will be frank in my remarks but I do not, however, intend to vent anger or attack anyone. I have read several statements from friends and colleagues I respect very much.
Their thoughts are well stated and, for the most part, insightful. None of them, however, seem to want to say some things that I believe need to be said. I do not claim infallibility or to have the final word, but my convictions run deep and I believe I bear a God-given responsibility to share them.

Was This God's Will?

Was what happened Tuesday God's will? I am quite confident it was not. America was offered a very clear choice between moving further toward protecting the unborn or further away; between a Supreme Court that would move toward honoring God, life and morality or away from it. The stakes couldn't have been higher nor the cost greater. As a nation we put on blinders concerning Barak Obama's background, associations, beliefs and practices, and set these causes back years, possibly decades.
And in doing so we took another step away from God and His plans for America, and another step toward judgment.

Judgment Will Increase

This is not a fire and brimstone warning from an angry, legalistic preacher. In fact, I feel more sadness and grief than anything else.
Perhaps I feel what Jesus felt as He wept for Jerusalem while announcing its judgment. I am not hoping for judgment; I am saying it is inevitable. I don't know where the unbiblical belief comes from that says a nation can live any way it pleases, can reject God and His ways-even mock Him-and not receive His judgments. Nor do I know when the belief came that it is always mean-spirited or judgmental to warn of these things. To the contrary, I believe it is our responsibility.

In warning of judgment, I am not suggesting that God is going to intentially and directly hurt people. Much judgment is simply the absence of God's protection and provision, caused by a rejection of His laws and ways. We have been experiencing some forms of judgment in America for years, but God in His incredible patience and mercy has kept us from the level we've deserved. I believe this will change to a degree and judgment will now
increase:

* For those in the Church who aligned themselves with pro-abortion forces, I believe judgment will result.

* For leaders in the Body of Christ who refused to take a stand for fear of losing people, money, and tax-exempt status-I believe there will be a degree of judgment.

* For those, both within the Church and without, who voted money over morality-a potential raise or better health insurance over the life of a baby-there will be judgment. (The irony is that this decision to base one's vote on the hopes of a better economy won't produce the hoped for result anyway. The scriptures teach that it is righteousness which exalts a nation and that the nation is blessed whose God is the Lord.)

I have heard the argument that God cares as much about social justice issues (such as poverty and racism) as He does abortion, making a vote for Obama OK. I certainly believe God puts a very high priority on caring for the poor and I, too, have wanted to see equality demonstrated through a "minority" president. But to equate having a better income or the desire for a first black president, regardless of his positions on abortion and morality, to the issue of killing 50 million babies is not justice-it is a gross distortion of justice and great deception. I fear that we have been desensitized to this issue of abortion. I believe it kills babies and takes innocent life. I also believe it is blood sacrifice that empowers demons. Let's not forget this in our noble attempts to be kind and conciliatory.
For African Americans I can easily see how it could bring healing to have a first black president, just as it would be for Native Americans to achieve this or for women if a woman were elected president. Again, I have wanted to see justice in this way. I am only saddened that the price for this healing ended up being Barak Obama, a man that will set the cause of life and, most-likely, our God-given destiny as a nation back so drastically. (I also realize there are some who interpret any criticism of Obama as racism. Racism is so NOT what I am about nor what I live, that I will not even dignify any such accusations with a response.)

What Can We Expect?

What are some of the judgments we can expect on our nation from this election?

* More economic woes
* More violence in an already violent nation
* Disease and death (satan, who is responsible for these things will have greater inroads to our nation.)
* Natural disasters (weather-tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, drought; fires; earthquakes; etc.)
* Terrorism (they will fear us much less now)
* War, perhaps on our own soil
* Judgments relating to the Court. The stacking of the Supreme Court against the sanctity of life and God's influence on America will occur, which will in turn cause the shedding of more innocent blood, more rejection of God's laws and the stealing from us of our godly heritage-all of which will perpetuate a cycle of even more judgment.

How Did This Happen?

I've been asked if this could have been averted had there been more prayer. I'm not sure. I believe there was a remnant of Christians fervently praying over these elections-I don't think there was anything more they could have done. Others, obviously, should have done more. The complacency and lack of discernment concerning our real condition in America-especially by the Church-is both appalling and horrifying. America is in serious trouble and it seems no one wants to say it. Fewer still are willing to do anything to change it.

Though I understand our reasons, we must be careful in our attempts to placate our feelings and calm our fears through religious phrases like "God is still on the throne" or "God has a plan". He was on His throne 35 years and 50 million babies ago. And He had a plan back then. The problem is, it was us. I understand our reasons for waving high the banner of God's sovereignty at times like these-it gives us hope. I will wave it, as well.
But please be careful with this. Too much emphasis on God's sovereignty and we're worthless; too little and we're hopeless. Maybe we should say, "we lost a critical battle but God will give us strategy to win the war." Then find the strategy.

But still yet, since God is usually willing to work through a remnant, I thought we had enough prayer. Obviously, God decided otherwise. There comes a time when He will not forgive or bless the majority based on the prayers or actions of only a few. America rejected God and asked for a king; I believe we now have our Saul (see 1 Samuel 8:5-7)-a man who does not have God's heart for America but his own. Like Israel in scripture, our nation believes it can turn from God and still be blessed. In His mercy and justice He will show us otherwise.

Like many, believing I had many promises and confirmations that God would "grace" us with a pro-life president in this election, I failed to consider strongly enough that all promises-even scripture-are conditional 99.9% of the time. Though I never prophesied or made guarantees that McCain-Palin would win, failing to factor this principle in strongly enough no doubt caused me to share my optimism with others inappropriately. If this caused any harm or confusion, I apologize.

Has the fact that my prayers weren't answered shaken my faith? No. I'm a little confused and discouraged. I'm also somewhat angry at the nation in general and much of the Church. Mostly I'm grieving over the nation and what this will cost us. I am not, however, angry with God and do not question His justice. And it is not true that we wasted our time, energy and money in our efforts anymore than it is a waste when we share the gospel with people who don't get saved. We must keep in the forefront of our thinking the fact that ultimately we are doing this for Him and that He will reward us for our faithfulness. And who knows, perhaps He will store up all those prayers for the next battle (Revelation 5:8, 8:3-5).

A friend and fellow warrior said it well,

"We did 'give it our all.' I know the Lord was pleased with that. A coach wants to know one thing at the end of a heartbreaking sports loss: 'Did you leave it all on the field?' (your passion, your commitment, your strength, your courage, etc.) I know that we 'left it all on the field.' We didn't hold anything back until the game ended. Tragically, it ended in defeat. We will rise for another day because Jesus is worthy."

Where Do We Go from Here?

Does this election outcome shake my faith that we can see a great awakening and ultimately reformation in America? Absolutely not (and it strengthens my resolve). We will simply get there through greater pain and loss. Even my passion to see the Supreme Court shift is not from a presupposition that there can be no spiritual awakening without it. It is simply due to my deep conviction that their decisions bring so much death, destruction, curses and judgment to America; and because our full destiny as a nation is unquestionably linked to their decisions. So, yes, we will get an awakening and reformation; but the reality is that this reformation of the nation will reform the Supreme Court (and government, in general), not vice-versa. My faith has never been in people or a political party; my faith is in the God who works through them.

I've been asked if my feelings about Sarah Palin have changed. They have not. I believe she is an Esther, a Deborah, with a huge mantle from God for reformation. God has a great destiny for her related to this nation if she chooses to continue down this path.

So, in conclusion, we must re-group as an apostolic, praying church and advance. We must maintain an immovable faith in God, His plans for America and His mercy. And we must move beyond simply asking God for a spiritual awakening and ask Him for strategy to produce reformation, as well. I, for one, am just getting started!

For God and this great nation,
Dutch Sheets

posted by tobepink @ 3:50 PM 0 comments

God's Provision

Monday, November 3, 2008

If you want to know how amazing God is, read this!

As many of you know, the non-profit that I helped start has been really struggling financially. So much so that i hadn't been paid in nearly a month. Someone at my church, who shall remain anonymous, was praying about the situation and God told her to give me a large sum of money. Being reluctant to give me as much as He told her, due to her own financial situation, she was obedient and dropped a check in my box at church. I was blown away. Her generosity was greater than I could have ever imagined. I didn't even ask for help!! God knew what my needs were, and he provided through a fellow Christian who was obedient to God's voice. THAT, you guys, isn't even the amazing part of it!!!
This woman and her husband were struggling to keep their business afloat and were considering bankruptcy. One day, the landlord of their business property called and wanted to know if they were going to be able to make their monthly lease payment. She told him how they were struggling and were considering bankruptcy. It was at this point he asked her, "Are you a Christian?" and she responded, "Absolutely" and he responded with, "When you work for the Lord, He'll work for you".
Now this all happened a week before she wrote me the check she did. Fast forward a week after she wrote me the check. Her husband scheduled an appointment with their landlord to discuss their situation. What happened will blow your mind - the landlord decided to decrease their monthly lease payment by the EXACT SAME AMOUNT that she gave me!!! He had NO idea what she had done for me. But the amount God told her to give me, was the same amount the Lord told her landlord to reduce their payments! The Landlord's words, "When you work for the lord, He'll work for you" were so true!! Not only was she obedient, but he repaid her obedience by blessing her 12 times as great!!! Not only did she help me out a great deal, but her own situation was helped out in an even greater way!!!

GOD IS GOOD!!!

posted by tobepink @ 1:27 PM 2 comments

My Family

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Growing up, my family was close. Very close. We spent a lot of time together - holidays, weeks in the summer, camping trips, birthdays, and other events. Now for most people, they consider their parents and siblings their "family" but for me, when people would ask me who my family was, I'd list them all off: my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my grandma, my mom, and my dog Sam. That was my family. My extended family WAS my family

Growing up in a single parent family, and as an only child, the people I had in my life were more valuable than any material possessions we had (or didn't have, for that matter).

My family was my world. The love, time, and affection they gave me was priceless. My grandmother was my rock. Her love, affection, wisdom, and time she gave, were treasures that only I could share with her and nobody else. My aunts were my world...they treated me with such great love, any girl would have been jealous to be in my position. My uncles joking and lovable natures made them the only positive men I had in my life. My two older cousins, I marveled at and looked up to as older brothers, even though they never knew it. And my younger cousin, he was my friend, my playmate, and my equal. We spent so much time together, learning to share, enjoying each others playful natures, and being kids together. I was the only girl and I loved it.

I loved my family. I still do. (There's more...click here)
As time does, it changes families. With my cousins and myself growing up, people moving out of state, and grandma's passing away in 2007, our family has changed. No longer do we spend holidays, birthdays, or weeks of summer fun together. Instead, our contacts exist through email and phone and occasional visits.

I can't lie, it grieves my heart. When I look to the past, I begin to miss what we did have. I miss the fun, the love, the affection, the attention. I miss how my cousins used to pick on me and wouldn't let me play with their boy toys because i was a girl. I miss sitting in front of the tv watching the Brady Bunch while we ate breakfast together. I miss swimming in the pool and learning how to dive. I miss camping in the rain while our tent flooded with water and we all hovered on the only thing above water - the air mattress. I miss it. I miss my family.

But I am grateful. I am grateful for their love. For all that they were to me and still are to this day. I am grateful that they helped raise me. My mother couldn't have done it without them! Nor would I be who I am today without them.

I love you, My Family.

posted by tobepink @ 4:15 PM 2 comments

Nostalgia-My Teen Idols

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Wow, can you say feeling like your 12 again?! Last night I went to the NKOTB concert with my roommate and a friend. (For those of you who don't know, that would be the New Kids On The Block.) We were very excited as they were a favorite band of ours from childhood. And so was the case for the thousands of other 30-somethings women who packed the arena. I was amazed by how many women still had their original NKOTB apparel, buttons, and nostalgic goodies. Some were dressed in legwarmers, leggings, and flourscent colors with their side ponytails bobbing around as they giddily ventured into the Xcel Energy Center. It was, as a fan poster read, "NKOTB Stalkerfest". There were smatterings of men and young women under 20 but most wee 30-something womens. As the band played Donnie, one of the members, stated, "15 years ago we would look out all of you and young girls stared back at us and today we see women drinking beer and pregnant!" What struck me more than anything, however, was when the band got on stage and started singing, "The Right Stuff". My eyes...watered! Ok, I teared up a bit!! I was surprised by that reaction. I felt like I did when I was younger, watching the New Kids at their Fourth of July Concert on July 4, 1990 at Harriet Island in Saint Paul as a fan crazed 12 year old again!I had NO idea that the memories would come flooding back including the feelings from that time! I was enamored. I sang along to all the songs I knew, danced in front of my seat, and even did some of the classic NKOTB moves. It was a thrill. A trip down memory lane. Thanks, NKOTB for making me feel like a kid again.

posted by tobepink @ 11:30 AM 0 comments

About Me

Name: tobepink
About Me: 32 year old female, Christian, Writer, Poet, Reader, Learner, Speaker, Leader, Mentor, Teacher, Daughter, Friend, Fiance

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind" -Matthew 22:37

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